Three date rule my a**

How to walk the tightrope of keeping him interested when sex is not in the cards

I once sat through a conversation with an unmarried woman in her mid-thirties. 

She was telling me how disgusting and disrespectful it was when a man started kissing her and undressing her at his house after a dinner date.  

Apparently, she had already explained to him earlier she doesn’t want to have sex yet. He ghosted her after that date.

Cruel as I am, I felt no sympathy.

It would fly with so many of you. Say one thing, then don’t live up to your words. 

Who cares that you get worked up? There’s a good chance he will still get laid and expose your weak will. 

Angry with him being a man? Next.

Going on a date with a very eager man is like riding a hot horse. A total disaster if you’re not in control or a lot of fun if you know what you’re doing. 

You don’t need to seduce them into moving forward, your only job is to apply the brakes when needed. Less work for us.

This makes most women nervous. I kind of get it. The expectations and the pressure applied by many men these days are a bit insane. 

I don’t even know your dog’s name and you want me to put out on the first/third/fifth date because those are the rules?

LOL. Good luck enforcing them with women you want the most!

The true intentions of a date

Let’s establish some facts about what’s going on at a date.

Are you a woman going on a date with someone who asked you out ? 

Great. You already know he wants to fuck you. 

This is important because it means YOU set the pace and the conditions going forward. 

Let’s keep going. Why are you as a woman going on a date? 

To get to know him, have a good time, to find love, yada yada.

Be honest. You agreed to go on a date and let’s assume he’s impressive. 

OF COURSE, you’d like to fuck him too! 

It’s just that you probably want more than just sex and don’t feel comfortable just YET.

Here’s where many of you fuck up.

You are too scared to act like you want sex

Why are you so afraid to express you’re into him?

Afraid to put their hand on his thigh half an hour into the first date? 

Too prudish to lick your lips or *gasp* just say that you’d love to taste his? 

Afraid he’ll think you’re easy? 

Oh boy. I’m sure your weak execution of the classic “I don’t normally do this” will make him perceive you to be chaster than Virgin Mary when you go home with him that night. 

Because here’s what happened.

You were so scared to show him any real interest that he either assumed you were not that attracted (next), you were there for the free meal (next) or you found yourself auto-responding to his advances (reluctantly but you went along anyways).

All poor choices.

JESUS. You are on a DATE! Show that man some love. It’s pretty simple. You say that you like what you see, but that’s where you are free to stop. 

You like something about him? You tell him. Call him handsome. Say that he has great arms or that he is smart or that he must have worked hard for what he has achieved. 

Don’t be afraid to touch him. Do it liberally. On your terms. Seize control before he can.

He will try to move things beyond your comfort level. And that’s a great sign. As expected he’s attracted to you. You decline with a smile and a version of “not yet.” 

Yeah, he will be disappointed even a little pissed. But it’s his problem not yours. 

Delaying the reward only intensifies the desire. You should use it to your advantage.

Men want to feel desired too

The big lesson here is that men want to feel desired and cherished too. Of course, it’s about sex for them, but it’s really not about sex. Nothing fires them up as a hottie that clearly appreciates them and wants THEIR D .. but not yet.

Ironically, I’ve noticed it’s the women that are the biggest teases that have the greatest discipline. Because once you know, you know. You can string a man along on a dry spell for a VERY long time if you keep the desire alive. What you choose to do with this is up to you.

But Filly, what if I tease him like that and he’s an axe murderer & rapist? 

You have ZERO business going on dates with men you are scared of saying “no” to, especially in secluded/non-public places. 

Never reveal where you live until you feel you can trust him with that info. Safety first. Listen to your gut!

Cheers!